Home Schooling: How We Teach Our Children
By Heba Baddah Provisional Psychologist, BArts/BSci (Psychology)(Hons)
July/August 2022
By Heba Baddah Provisional Psychologist, BArts/BSci (Psychology)(Hons)
July/August 2022
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The early years are a crucial part in their development. In these early years, children learn about the world, about people, who they can trust, how to react to different situations etc. And sometimes, what they learnt at this stage, can have significant influence on different aspects of their lives in the future (both positive and not-so positive). Most of what children learn, especially in their early years, they learn from their parents.
Before adolescent years, children are most influenced by their parents. Typically, parents act as their guides and role models in navigating the stressors, challenges, and confusion of the world, and act as their children’s central source of information. |
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Types of Parental Influence
Direct Influence
Direct influence refers to the process of directly telling or showing children what to do through instruction or comments. This is often what we picture when we discuss teaching our children.
Indirect Influence (Modelling)
The indirect influence parents have on their children is often overlooked and underestimated, despite it being an integral component in children developing attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. This learning occurs when a child observes and copies their parents’ behaviours, also known as modelling. This type of influence can be passed on to children both intentionally and unintentionally. Intentional modelling is when a parent deliberately displays a desired behaviours in the hopes their child imitates. Quintennial modelling refers to what children imitate and learn from their parents’ behaviours without the parent being aware.
Direct influence refers to the process of directly telling or showing children what to do through instruction or comments. This is often what we picture when we discuss teaching our children.
Indirect Influence (Modelling)
The indirect influence parents have on their children is often overlooked and underestimated, despite it being an integral component in children developing attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. This learning occurs when a child observes and copies their parents’ behaviours, also known as modelling. This type of influence can be passed on to children both intentionally and unintentionally. Intentional modelling is when a parent deliberately displays a desired behaviours in the hopes their child imitates. Quintennial modelling refers to what children imitate and learn from their parents’ behaviours without the parent being aware.
So, What can be Modelled?
Children can learn a multitude of attitudes and behaviours though observing. Including how they perceive themselves, their body image, anxious behaviour/confident behaviours, how to act when feeling different emotion etc. Anything that a child observes has the potential to influence them.
So, What Now?
You might be thinking, “Well, if our children learn from everything we say and do, how can we best teach them?”
The following are some tips on ‘managing our modelling’:
The following are some tips on ‘managing our modelling’:
- Be Consistent
We often hear “Consistency is key” when raising children. This is very true, not only consistency between parents, but also consistency between our actions and our words. If we tell our child to not eat chocolate and they then see us eating chocolate, the effect of our words has been diminished. It has been shown that children benefit and learn desired behaviours most when what they hear and see from their parents is consistent. - Be Self-Aware
As mentioned above, children can learn anxious tendencies or ways of reacting to different emotions through observing their parents and take on these behaviours when they feel the same. It is important to be aware of our own actions and reactions, especially in the presence of our children. Assess if how we handle different emotions (both good and bad) is how we want our children to learn to react to those emotions and situations. - Build a Strong Relationship with your child
The stronger our bonds with our children the greater their respect and the influence in their lives we will have. Building a trustworthy relationship with our children allows them to believe that what we are doing and saying is safe and okay. Please refer to our previous secure attachment and quality time articles for further information on building the relationship between parent and child. - Forgive Mistakes
Allow for both ourselves and our children to make mistakes. When a mistake is made (by us or our child), allow it to be acknowledged and discussed. When we make mistakes, have this be an opportunity to model to our children how they should react when they make a mistake (take responsibility and make steps to change). When our child makes a mistake, explain to them that they are opportunities to learn and support them to make a change.
References
Abraczinskas, M., Fisak, Jr., B., & Barnes, R. (2012). The relation between parental influence, body image, and eating behaviors in a nonclinical female sample. Body Image, 9, 93-100. DOI: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2011.10.005
Burstein, M., & Ginsburg, G. S. (2010). The effect of parental modeling of anxious behaviors and cognitions in school-aged children: An experimental pilot study. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(6), 506–515. DOI: 10.1016/j.brat.2010.02.006. Accessed via: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2871979/
Palfreyman, Z., Haycraft, E., & Meyer, C. (2013). Unintentional role models: Links between maternal eating psychopathology and the modelling of eating behaviours. European Eating Disorders Review, 21, 195-201. DOI: 10.1002/erv.2219
https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/focus-parents/role-model-promise-peril/
https://theirworld.org/news/early-learning-sets-up-young-children-for-life/
https://www.apadivisions.org/division-37/resources/child-family/parent-role-models.pdf
Abraczinskas, M., Fisak, Jr., B., & Barnes, R. (2012). The relation between parental influence, body image, and eating behaviors in a nonclinical female sample. Body Image, 9, 93-100. DOI: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2011.10.005
Burstein, M., & Ginsburg, G. S. (2010). The effect of parental modeling of anxious behaviors and cognitions in school-aged children: An experimental pilot study. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(6), 506–515. DOI: 10.1016/j.brat.2010.02.006. Accessed via: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2871979/
Palfreyman, Z., Haycraft, E., & Meyer, C. (2013). Unintentional role models: Links between maternal eating psychopathology and the modelling of eating behaviours. European Eating Disorders Review, 21, 195-201. DOI: 10.1002/erv.2219
https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/focus-parents/role-model-promise-peril/
https://theirworld.org/news/early-learning-sets-up-young-children-for-life/
https://www.apadivisions.org/division-37/resources/child-family/parent-role-models.pdf