Transitioning to Primary School.
by Mary Nguyen - Psychologist, BSc (Psych), PGDip (Psych)
September 2019
You look at your baby and think to yourself, where does the time go? Then, before you know it, they’re off to make their way in the world. But first, KINDERGARTEN!
Maybe you’re excited about the potential of ‘me-time’ or being able to enjoy that cup of coffee in peace, but at the same time the thought of one the biggest transitions of your little one’s life can be overwhelming. It’s scary not to know what hurdles your children may encounter at school and how they will cope with it all; the learning, routine, social and emotional aspects of it. There may be a few tears (and not just your child’s) but the good news is there are things you can do to support your child’s transition. Preparation and Familiarity Get your child involved by preparing materials needed for school so they will be familiar with their belongings and more excited to start. Letting them choose what type of bag, lunchbox, or stationary they want can create a sense of control during this transition. You can even discuss which snacks they may want in their lunch boxes.
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Getting your child into the routine can make for a smoother transition. Before school starts, introduce a regular sleep and waking routine. This can get your child into the rhythm of things and reduce chaos and rush on the first day. Other things to practise may include putting on the school uniform, packing the school bag and even eating lunch from their lunch box.
Visits to the school and orientation days can help your child become familiar with school, as well as with teachers and peers. It may be a good opportunity to ask the teachers any questions you may have about starting school. Making a map and marking out how to get from the front gates to their classroom or from the classroom to the bathroom can reduce anxiety. It may help to discuss how your child will travel to school. You can even do a practice drive to school.
If possible, organising a playdate with other kids in your child’s class may make your child feel more comfortable about starting school.
Let your child know what they might expect in kindergarten such as activities they may participate in and what they might learn about, eg. learning how to read and write, counting, group-time and playtime. Also, discuss what the daily routine will be like. It may be helpful to find out about bell times and any procedures that the school might have. A typical day in kindergarten is well demonstrated in this NSW Department of Education video
Visits to the school and orientation days can help your child become familiar with school, as well as with teachers and peers. It may be a good opportunity to ask the teachers any questions you may have about starting school. Making a map and marking out how to get from the front gates to their classroom or from the classroom to the bathroom can reduce anxiety. It may help to discuss how your child will travel to school. You can even do a practice drive to school.
If possible, organising a playdate with other kids in your child’s class may make your child feel more comfortable about starting school.
Let your child know what they might expect in kindergarten such as activities they may participate in and what they might learn about, eg. learning how to read and write, counting, group-time and playtime. Also, discuss what the daily routine will be like. It may be helpful to find out about bell times and any procedures that the school might have. A typical day in kindergarten is well demonstrated in this NSW Department of Education video
Checking in with Feelings
Although your child may be excited, they may also feel scared. Children can feel worried about having a new teacher, not making friends or other unknowns. Ensure that you validate your child’s feelings where possible. Let your child know that others will also be nervous about starting school and share your feelings of starting your first day, whether it be school or work. Let them know what made you feel better and how it turned out okay. Allow your child to talk about their feelings and remind them of a time that they achieved something and let them know they can conquer school too.
Notably, one of the biggest fears that children have is the fear of the parent leaving and when they are coming back. Be sure to say goodbye, remind them to have a great day and don’t rush off. Reassure your child that you will be picking them up or seeing them after school. You may allow them to bring something that reminds them of you or an item of comfort if needed. Also, encourage them to talk to a teacher if they feel nervous.
Lastly, if the tears are yours, try to hold them back (at least just in front of your little one!) as this can upset them and bring about more anxiety. Try to stay calm and talk positively about school in an everyday manner.
Kindergarten can be hard for both of you but it is also exciting and fun. The most important thing is to prepare them as best you can with simple strategies and acknowledging feelings of your child and your own. Don’t forget you are your child’s secure base and you can calm them best. Most importantly talk to your child and let them know you’ll support them and when needed you’ll figure out a solution to any problem together and…keep in mind it gets a tad easier each day!
Notably, one of the biggest fears that children have is the fear of the parent leaving and when they are coming back. Be sure to say goodbye, remind them to have a great day and don’t rush off. Reassure your child that you will be picking them up or seeing them after school. You may allow them to bring something that reminds them of you or an item of comfort if needed. Also, encourage them to talk to a teacher if they feel nervous.
Lastly, if the tears are yours, try to hold them back (at least just in front of your little one!) as this can upset them and bring about more anxiety. Try to stay calm and talk positively about school in an everyday manner.
Kindergarten can be hard for both of you but it is also exciting and fun. The most important thing is to prepare them as best you can with simple strategies and acknowledging feelings of your child and your own. Don’t forget you are your child’s secure base and you can calm them best. Most importantly talk to your child and let them know you’ll support them and when needed you’ll figure out a solution to any problem together and…keep in mind it gets a tad easier each day!